I will be doing a series of blogs about some of the emotions that I experienced and that many of the grieving dads that I have spoken with have also experienced. I thought I would begin with the emotions/feelings that begin with the letter “A”.
Anger: The word alone provides many thoughts and images. But for many of the dads, anger is the one emotion society allows for men. It’s what men do, we get angry. Unfortunately, for many grieving dads, they get stuck there and the anger begins to fester over time. The following is a list of things that anger many of the grieving dads I have spoken to as part of this project:
- They become angry at themselves for not being able to protect their child.
- They become angry because the life they once knew is gone.
- They become angry at God for allowing the loss to occur.
- They become angry because the world keeps moving after their loss, like nothing happened. “My child has died, how can the world keep moving?”
- They’re angry at people who may have had a role in the death of their child.
- They are angry because some people around them just want them to “get over it and get back to the old you'”.
- They are angry because they lost control of themselves and their emotions.
- They are angry at their employers for not understanding that their performance at work has been forever impacted and that they are not the same person as they were before. It’s hard to care about things that just do not seem to matter.
- They are angry because they have lost hope and can’t seem get find it.
These are just a few things that have been shared with me over the last several months. Is there anything you would like to add as far as “what makes you angry?” Feel free to comment.