Live Like You Were Dying
The other night Tim McGraw’s 2004 hit song, “Live Like You Were Dying” was playing on the radio. The song tells the story of a man in his forties who learns that he is dying of cancer and poses the question, “How would you live if you knew you were dying?” The answers given in the song sort of remind you of the Jack Nicholson/Morgan Freeman movie, “The Bucket List”. The first answers given in the song are: go sky diving, Rocky Mountain climbing, ride 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu
Manchu, but they are not as significant as the last two answers: “I’d love deeper and I’d talk sweeter”.
Hmm, love deeper and talk sweeter, now there’s two areas that most of us could improve in. As bereaved parents, we have had a family tragedy, a death. And although we didn’t die, some parents feel like they are “dying”, at least emotionally. The tragedy can and most likely will, change us. As you know, the changes can be either negative or positive. If we choose to let our child’s death make us bitter and angry the rest of our life, then we’ve made the wrong choice. However, if we let the tragedy drive us to “love deeper and talk sweeter”, then we’ve made a
I looked up the word” love” on a Bible internet site and found that it is used 498 times in the NKJV. Some pertinent “love” passages might be:
John 13:34-“A new commandment I give you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”
Romans 13:10 “Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.”
I Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love suffers long and is kind; love does
not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil.” (NkJV)
And when it comes to “talk sweeter”, we might consider:
Proverbs 16:24: “Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones”.
Proverbs 25:11: “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver”. (NIV)
I Peter 3:10: “For he would love life and see good days. let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit.”
It seems as human beings that we often give in to “default” feelings. These are the feelings that come naturally: anger, frustration, bitterness, impatience, jealousy, selfishness, arrogance, unforgiveness, etc. But the Bible calls us to a much higher standard. As bereaved parents, maybe now would be a good time to inventory the way we think, talk, feel, and act, and decide to make some positive changes in memory of our child.
Written by David Haddock
In memory of Bonnie Catherine Haddock
I really enjoyed the positive outlook of this article. I know after losing my daughter Katie, I became very angry and not very loving and spoke with venom most of the time. I was pissed off and the people who came into contact with me realized it fairly quickly. This lasted for about a year and a half after the loss and then I started to change about the time I lost my son Noah. After the loss of Noah, I became a different person. A more caring and compassionate person. I try to offer kindness to deserving people. I still struggle with offering my kindness towards ignorant or rude people. Their actions still bring out the venom in me ever so often. However, for the most part I speak much sweeter than I ever have. Taking the path of “loving deeper and talking sweeter” helps this bereaved parent. Creating this project is part of me trying to offer love and compassion to the dads that desperately need it. Thank you David for sharing this article.