I recently sat down and generated a list of 30 words that could be used to describe grief. Obviously this list relates to my experience with grief, so I am interested to see if anyone else can relate with some of these words. I plan on doing a series of postings that will not only define these words, but expand on why I thought they would be good descriptors. The first word I chose was:
Relentless: Defined as unyieldingly severe, strict, or harsh; unrelenting.
There were days I would fight as hard as I could to push my emotions back down. Some days I would win this battle and some days I would not. Eventually it would wear on me to the point that I would have to deal with whatever it was that was bothering me at the time. Grief would not be ignored.
After the death of my daughter Katie, I had the strength to ignore it for long periods of time; in fact, I pushed it deep inside of me for almost a year, never speaking of it. I thought I had won the war, but little did I know a new battle was about to be unleashed on me. Just when I let my guard down, it pounced on me again and this time, it would not let up. It was fierce and it started to really kick my ass about the same time I experienced the death of my son Noah. I had no more fight left inside of me and I was sent into a tail spin I never thought I could pull out of, but I did. I finally gave in and surrendered to grief and the process of recovery. If it wasn’t for grief’s relentless attempts of making me stop and acknowledge what I had gone though, I would still be running and hiding from the pain which would have ultimately prolonged the process we all must travel one way or the other.
Anyone have other thoughts on this word?